Gratitude

Well, 2009 is winding down as one for the books.

Found love; lost work.

Love has saved me; work was eventually going to kill me.

Due to being out of work, it looks like we might lose some material possessions that have been good to us, but which have been also been causing great emotional stress for years.

The task of paying a $3000-4000 mortgage for seven years has been akin to the plight of Sisyphus of Greek Mythology.

Sisyphus. Encyclopædia Britannica (11th ed.). 1911.

It takes me back to a night following a failed labor induction, nearly twenty years ago.

Penniless, alone, and completely disabled, I had no idea how I would be able to provide a decent  life for the greatest gift the Lord has ever given me, my daughter.

A friend offered me a place to stay, away from my family of origin, who were collectively freaking out and thus impairing  calm decision-making.

Gentleman that he was, my friend rented a video (remember those), “Gandhi”, turned on the VCR (remember those)  and left me to my meditations for the night.

Watching the film about one of the greatest men to ever live, I remembered that I did not need anything but Shraddha (Faith) and Dharma (Righteousness) and that God and Guru had led me out of hopeless situations on more than one occasion.

I realized I had been seduced by Darkness into believing that my welfare and that of my unborn daughter were dependent upon external forces, rather than God’s sweet Mercy.

So, I surrendered to His Lotus Feet and let go of my shame and fear.

My daughter was born shortly after this, after yet another labor induction, and contrary to the warnings of the health care providers, who predicted a low birth weight baby, she was born at exactly six pounds and was a perfect 10 on the Apgar scale.

I named her Gabrielle (The one who was sent) Ahimsa (Perfect non-violence) to Honor God, Who had sent her and my Guru, Who is also the Guru of PM Nehru, the right hand of Mahatma Gandhi.

In short order, God led me to a home by the Delaware River and into my education in nursing, which fed, clothed, and housed us for the next 19 years.

It is only now that He is stripping away the dross and leading us to a more serene lifestyle; a home by the sea for Cordelia (formerly Gabrielle Ahimsa) and me.

And across the ocean to a man that shares and understands  my spiritual lifestyle.

He is an Australian, no less (my favorite country; after the US and India), who appeared unbidden, at a time when I had begun to believe, once again, that life was just a sad and cruel joke.

He is also “sent”,  just as my daughter was sent, to keep me faithful to Dharma and Dana (Compassionate giving) in the face of Darkness.

The Pacific Academy of the Healing Arts, created to share the knowledge that was given to me as a Psychiatric and Addictions Nurse Practitioner, is once again flourishing, thanks to the help of  Beth and Jim Hood and my friend in need, Wendy Martin.

Every week, I see the intelligent and caring faces of the counseling students, eager to help their fellows move from the torment of addictions and mental illnesses into full and meaningful lives, and I know that there is purpose behind all suffering.

So, in spite of some serious adversity, this is a year to be grateful for love; for life; for the chance to be of service.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.